Forever A Fangirl

It's time to fill in the blanks on the last 12 months

From Mary Schmich's column in the Chicago Tribune

Admit it. Your life in the past year really wasn't centered on George Bush, Jessica Simpson and the miracle of podcasting, was it?
 
Politics, celebrities and commerce may fill all those year-in-reviews that clog the media in December's closing days, but the publicized world is just a fraction of what lingers in the average person's memory. This year and in most years, we're more likely to be marked by things that never make it into newsprint...
 
In the spirit of annual accounting, I advocate finding a few minutes for your own personal year-in-review.
 
I'm going to make it easy. Check out the form below... copy it and share your responses. I guarantee that if you fill in the blanks, you'll realize some things about your 2005 you had only half registered before.
 
When you consciously review your year, you may notice how little you noticed it as it whizzed past. To review is to re-view. To rewind, pause, look again. And in looking again, to see more clearly.
 
You may be astonished by how much happened. And how much didn't. By how much has changed. And how much hasn't. You may laugh or sigh to notice that your life remains its usual jumble of contradictions.

PERSONAL YEAR IN REVIEW

In 2005, I gained --------------------------------.

I lost -------------------------------------------.

I stopped ----------------------------------------.

I started ----------------------------------------.

I was hugely satisfied by ------------------------.

And frustrated by --------------------------------.

I am so embarrassed that I -----------------------.

Once again, I ------------------------------------.

Once again, I did not ----------------------------.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is -----------------------.

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this

December is --------------------------------------.

I loved spending time ----------------------------.

Why did I spend even two minutes -----------------?

I should have spent more time --------------------.

I regret buying ----------------------------------.

I will never regret buying --------- even though with that money I could have bought -------------------------.

I ----------------------------------- way too much.

I didn't ---------------------------------- enough.

----------------------------------- drove me crazy.

Was --------------- crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was ---------------.

I feel so ----------------- when I write that down.

Why did I go to ----------------------------------?

The best thing I did for someone else was --------.

The best thing I did for myself was --------------.

The best thing someone did for me was ------------.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is -------------------.

My answers:

 

In 2005, I gained a bit more confidence.

I lost a pair of treasured earrings from Hawaii.

I stopped making plans to move in 2006.

I started adapting my surroundings to better suit my living arrangement.

I was hugely satisfied by finally reaching my goal of spending time in Hawaii.

And frustrated by American politics.

I am so embarrassed that I cannot type well.

Once again, I was habitually late.

Once again, I did not make it on time.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is I look a year older.

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this

December is --I seem to be growing more conservative in my views on life.

I loved spending time with my family/friends and alone, too.

Why did I spend even two minutes worrying about aging?

I should have spent more time reading books or listening to music.

I regret buying a router I didn't need and can't return.

I will never regret buying a laptop even though with that money I could have bought a trip to somewhere tropical.

I wasted time way too much.

I didn't say I love you enough.

Many things drove me crazy.

Was the world crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?

The most relaxing place I went was Hawaii.

I feel so happy when I write that down.

Why did I go to such great lengths trying to please certain others?

The best thing I did for someone else was take over half the weekly shopping from my spouse.

The best thing I did for myself was swim/yoga.

The best thing someone did for me was love me.

The one thing I'd like to do again, but do it better, is go to Hawaii.

Could this be more pathetic?

Big Brother Bush

Molly Ivins - Creators Syndicate

12.28.05 - AUSTIN, Texas -- The first time as tragedy, the second time as farce. Thirty-five years ago, Richard Milhous Nixon, who was crazy as a bullbat, and J. Edgar Hoover, who wore women's underwear, decided some Americans had unacceptable political opinions. So they set our government to spying on its own citizens, basically those who were deemed insufficiently like Crazy Richard Milhous.

For those of you who have forgotten just what a stonewall paranoid Nixon was, the poor man used to stalk around the White House demanding that his political enemies be killed. Many still believe there was a certain Richard III grandeur to Nixon's collapse because he was also a man of notable talents. There is neither grandeur nor tragedy in watching this president, the Testy Kid, violate his oath to uphold the laws and Constitution of our country.

The Testy Kid wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it because he is the president, and he considers that sufficient justification for whatever he wants. He even finds lawyers like John Yoo, who tell him that whatever he wants to do is legal.

The creepy part is the overlap. Damned if they aren't still here, after all these years, the old Nixon hands -- Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, the whole gang whose yearning for authoritarian government rose like a stink over the Nixon years. Imperial executive. Bring back those special White House guard uniforms. Cheney, like some malignancy that cannot be killed off, back at the same old stand, pushing the same old crap.

Of course, they tell us we have to be spied on for our own safety, so they can catch the terrorists who threaten us all. Thirty-five years ago, they nabbed a film star named Jean Seberg and a bunch of people running a free breakfast program for poor kids in Chicago. This time, they're onto the Quakers. We are not safer.

We would be safer, as the 9-11 commission has so recently reminded us, if some obvious and necessary precautions were taken at both nuclear and chemical plants -- but that is not happening because those industries contribute to Republican candidates. Republicans do not ask their contributors to spend a lot of money on obvious and necessary steps to protect public safety. They wiretap, instead.

You will be unsurprised to learn that, first, they lied. They didn't do it. Well, OK, they did it, but not very much at all. Well, OK, more than that. A lot more than that. OK, millions of private e-mail and telephone calls every hour, and all medical and financial records.

You may recall in 2002 it was revealed that the Pentagon had started a giant data-mining program called Total Information Awareness (TIA), intended to search through vast databases "to increase information coverage by an order of magnitude."

From credit cards to vet reports, Big Brother would be watching us. This dandy program was under the control of Adm. John Poindexter, convicted of five felonies during Iran-Contra, all overturned on a technicality. This administration really knows where to go for good help -- it ought to bring back Brownie.

Everybody decided that TIA was a terrible idea, and the program was theoretically shut down. As often happens with this administration, it turned out they just changed the name and made the program less visible. Data-mining was a popular buzzword at the time, and the administration was obviously hot to have it. Bush established a secret program under which the National Security Agency could bypass the FISA (Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act) court and begin eavesdropping on Americans without warrants.

As many have patiently pointed out, the entire program was unnecessary, since the FISA court is both prompt and accommodating. There is virtually no possible scenario that would make it difficult or impossible to get a FISA warrant -- it has granted 19,000 warrants and rejected only a handful.

I don't like to play scary games where we all stay awake late at night, telling each other scary stories -- but there's a reason we have never given our government this kind of power. As the late Sen. Frank Church said, "That capability could at any time be turned around on the American people, and no American would have any privacy left, such is the capacity to monitor everything: telephone conversations, telegrams, it doesn't matter. There would be no place to hide." And if a dictator took over, the NSA "could enable it to impose total tyranny."

Then we always get that dreadful goody-two-shoes response, "Well, if you aren't doing anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about, do you?"

Folks, we KNOW this program is being and will be misused. We know it from the past record and current reporting. The program has already targeted vegans and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals -- and, boy, if those aren't outposts of al-Qaida, what is? Could this be more pathetic?

This could scarcely be clearer. Either the president of the United States is going to have to understand and admit he has done something very wrong, or he will have to be impeached. The first time this happened, the institutional response was magnificent. The courts, the press, the Congress all functioned superbly. Anyone think we're up to that again? Then whom do we blame when we lose the republic?

  (c) 2005 Creators Syndicate 

 

URL: http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?itemid=20119

Christmas Recap

My brother & sis-in-law
Hello again, Here is the much anticipated recap of my Christmas. It was nice. More detail? Okay, if you insist. It was low-key. My only sibling and his wife came over as they do every year. In surprise gesture, my eldest son (yes, the one to whom I was "dead" a few days ago--he's such a drama queen--wonder where he gets that?)   brought over his gf of four months and introduced us, finally. That was probably the most enjoyable aspect of the evening--very lighthearted. At the same time it was bittersweet for me as I know that she battled Hodgkin's disease, it went into remission, and now things seem to be going amiss again with both a brain & spinal surgery in her immediate future. "L" is such a lovely, funny, poised young woman--exactly the type of person that my not-really-mature-for-his-age son should be with. She's the first woman he's brought home that I think can lift him up rather than the opposite. It's hugely ironic to me that her future is so uncertain. Anyway, I'm trying to take whatever life throws my way just one day at a time and I hope my son and "L" can do the same as they grapple with the hurdles that await. Santa was very good to me--to us all really--with our first laptop in the form of a Inspiron 9300 with mega media goodies. It's for not just me but the other family members as well. I'm especially looking forward to having computer access on the very long haul to the cottage and after we get there attempting to run my home business from, well, away from home. The 12-pound dog that survived being hit by a 2000 lb object (car) got more loot than she's ever gotten. She went absolutely ape-nuts over her goodies (and everyone else's--as long as there was some food component involved). I think we were just glad that she was still here with us for the holiday so we probably went a bit overboard.

Opening Raven's Stocking

I think our Schipperke dog Raven, had about the best Christmas she's ever had. She was hit by a car less then two months ago and was pretty chewed up.
Since then, she's made a steady recovery. For a 12-pounder, she's a pretty sturdy specimen.

The kid pictured is the "littlest" kid in our household these days so Raven pretty much stands in for that role.

Happiness is a new chewbone.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

   "I lost 10 family members, and of course that is not easy. But time goes by, and I will accept it. That's life and death."
  AZWAR HASAN,    a social worker in Aceh.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

You Are Cupid



A total romantic, you're always crushing on a new reindeer.

Why You're Naughty: You've caused so much drama, all the reindeers aren't speaking to each other.

Why You're Nice: You have a knack for playing matchmaker. You even hooked Rudolph up!

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whichofsantasreindeerareyouquiz/

12/20

My Status is pretty good.
It was a quiet day as planned and it turned out to be timely because I really _did_ need to rest to shake that crummy cold. Sometimes I forget I'm not Superwoman.

It's really becoming a family tradition to "indoctrinate" our children into the watching of science fiction television. Started with me at age four watching Outer Limits and Twilight Zone with my Dad--that went on to Star Trek (and by then my brother watching, too). I picked it up with my first son and Star Trek:TNG and now this son with Galactica (though he needs no prodding, being a heavy science fantasy reader/ movie fan). So it was a good eight hours spent with my son. The commercial breaks were l-o-n-g so we actually had quite a bit of time together. Later, we discussed the storyline over our chicken veggie potstickers dinner and pondered what might be coming when this season resumes on 1/6. Can't wait!

Usually spouse cooks but his disc problem has flared and he's near incapacitated. He's supposed to remain in a fetal postion to keep the pressure off the disc. I have no idea how he's going to function but he went straight to bed when he got home from physical therapy at 6 p.m. He's in a lot of pain and I wish there was something I could do.

Well, older son just walked in . He had surgery for a hernia this afternoon and he said "everything went perfectly." It's the first I'd heard from him as his gf insisted on driving him and with him being almost 23, it's kinda hard to say much about that.

Cheers!

--Cyn

A Sunday Creationist

An intelligently designed comic strip...

Should be fun, if our eyeballs don't fall out.

Though I no longer sound like Darth Vader, I require a box of Kleenex within reach at all time. That's right: My nose is running down my face.
Other than that it's good. It's the first day of my kid's school break so he's distracting the hell out of me--but in a good way. Over the past couple weeks I've managed to get both him and my spouse hooked on the new Battlestar Galactica so tomorrow when the Sci-Fi channel runs the first half of this season (in prepartion for the second half to begin on 1/6) we are having a veg-a-thon. Total Galactica on the new teevee from 8 a.m. -5 p.m. tomorrow. Should be fun, if our eyeballs don't fall out.
If spouse gets the fancy recording system wired up tonite we'll save it for him, otherwise we'll plug in the VCR.
Happy trails!

--Cyn

Big List Of Stuff To Do

Shall I lie and say I haven't posted much here of late because I feel have nothing to say?
:thinks a moment:
Nah.
I never have nothing to say.
It's just that as I've oft-whined about, I am a dreadful typist with a type-A streak which requires me to go back and proof-read these things at least three times. (If I'm in a real rush, I only proof twice). Takes me an hour on average to write a post so I hafta be motivated and/or ???

The simple fact of my life right now is that I have a big list of stuff to do. Revelation, right?

Lessee. I'm putting off doing more Christmas cards cause I'm not motivated even though I bought two "special" boxes of Christmas cards at Walgreen's yesterday. I also picked up a blowing Homer Simpson (about four-feet tall and plugs in)--just what every respectable-looking porch needs. He's got a sign that say " D'oh Ho-Ho."
Love the writing on The Simpsons show but since my son discovered them about a year ago, it has been Simpsons in one from or another (teevee, syndicated here at least several times per day), t-shirts, and books to name a few. If subversive humour is part of the mix, my youngest follows my lead. Mostly. So far.

I behaved impulsively the other day. Everyone now, look like   or   .

I had acquired a laptop as the big family gift. It's actually quite nice as I was looking for multi-fuctionality and hoping that it wouldn't become obsolete in 5 minutes. So then the same company I purchased from offers me a killer deal on a desk-top and I thought of my Dad using my old desk-top (the "new" one I'm using now is going on 4 years old) and I know he can't DL a ton of things 'cos it takes hours. Plus he's on dial -up. I can almost feel the pain. And there's a ton of things I want to share with him (& Mom). He's pretty well house-bound with my mother (who is sinking into senility) and the Internet is his door to the world.
So I called him yesterday as I got a ship notice on the computer and I didn't want anyone to freak when the delivery came.
Now I just need to tell spouse so he doesn't freak, either.

Other news. With my oldest son now the only immediate boss at the Clearbrook Resale facility, I've been pitching in a tiny bit more. I noticed that framed paintings/posters/ect. (called pictures by most staff) were literally piled up, maybe seven feet high and then spread across a table that is supposed to be for sorting clothing donations. I've never done "pictures" and consider myself barely qualified to comment on their value but our picture lady stopped coming in (as did several other volunteers when my son's boss quit) and no one has stepped in to wrangle those suckers. So when I 'm done with books, which for the most part are under control, I'll head over the the picture dept. The dept itself (on the floor) is just an awful mess, so I think I'll see what I'm working with, then try to take on a bit at a time from the warehouse. This will be amusing because just like books there are some truly valuable pieces and then there is "little Johnnie's" framed fingerpainting. No exaggeration. People donate their kid's school art projects. Guess it assuages the guilt of throwing them out when the time comes to realize that you can't keep every scrap of paper your kid has taken a crayon to or glued together.

Everyone have a good day!

--Cyn

It was a gesture.

My weekend was the concerts (and the shleppling back & forth between here and there 4 times). Backstage was the most fun this time as I got to deal with a tall and ruggedly handsome harp-player whenever he was off- stage.
This guy had the worst case of stage fright I've yet seen. The munchie table sometimes helps so that's where we headed first, then lots of reassurance that he looked great (not like the nervous wreck he was backstage) out there.
My spouse and I sat in the balcony for the nightime show and that was fun. I need to practice on the tele lens on my camera and this was perfect for it. Unfortunately, I just now discovered that the lens has a button to make it wide-angle. I really could have used that in Hawaii.
On another musical note (ha!). I think I'm joining another "girl group"' The Madrigal Singers (though they do have 20 male members). I've run into 2 members in the last couple weeks that have urged me to join. And my favourite clerk at the P.O. is a very sharp (as in smart) but sweet lady also sings with them. So my notorious shyness with new people thing shouldn't be in full bloom. That's in a few weeks and will seriously shake up the schedule but right about now it could use some shaking (can you say winter blahs?).
The rest of my weekend was pretty well spent not giving up on software issues regarding my new-like (refurbished, cheap) printer and it's total consumption of all photographic software on my machine. I actually spent a full day uninstalling, reinstalling, restarting, ect., ad nauseum before I finally found a go-around that will suffice. Otherwise, the photos on my camera were staying there.

I invited my in-laws over for Christmas Eve knowing that they are headed downstate the next day for that side of the family's official gathering. I didn't think they'd accept. It was a gesture. I guess they don't know from gestures as they are coming. Luckily, they are bringing Aunt Eleanore and she's a hoot. This family is very "funny." Some of them have gone on to wealth (wed to a Dr., married to a guy who inherited a construction firm, married to a girl given piles of money for being Daddy's girl) though they grew up as a poor family. Well, Aunt Elenore had a great job doing something upper office-like in the Sears tower and now she is widowed and wealthy. It's a hoot watching people who barely gave her the time of day in years past (she was sort of exiled from the clan for the first decade I was part of it--over what else?-- a money issue) jockey for postion to curry her favour. She's a widow, with no non-furry kids. Her gay brother is also child-free. If there is a family inheritance it'll have to be divided with my spouse's mother and her seven children.
I don't care if Aunt Elenore gives us a cent when she passes. She's the kind of person that sends my dog a get-well card (after Raven got hit by the car). And she's outspoken, though not mean. Just a feisty old lady and boy is it nice to have another women in the family who's not a doormat.

Chris got nailed for a second in-school suspension (resulting from the prior behaviour). He worked the entire weekend on a Science project that was supposed to be done over three weeks time. He was fighting off a cold the whole time and I felt badly for him but it didn't excuse him. I sure hope he's learned something!

Cheers!

I try.

Hello all. Got a phone call from the school today--never a good thing. Seems my son skipped his first period class for the second day in a row.     He was hiding out in the boy's bathroom. Which is kind of a indication that he didn't do it for the fun of it.      I had a couple of hours to work before he came home so whilst I was gathering up book orders I plucked "You & Your Adolescent" off my personal bookshelf. It breaks the years of 10-20 into stages of what to expect and so forth and how to best approach a bit of a sticky situation like this. Asking questions and then listening rather than freaking out is a good thing. This is what perfect parents do. I try. The problem, the seed of this was, that he got stuck on a science presentation involving aural vs. visual learning and how it relates to short-term memory--he needed ten different sources of info. He fell behind, coming to class for days without being prepared to present. So this afternoon we (well, more me) discussed alternate choices to hiding in the boys room when you get stuck on an important assignment and feel you can't ask for help. (Alternate choice: Ask for help!) Break...back This gets better. The Veep from the junior high school called to make sure we had digested as per Chris, the story and his consequences. All was pretty good in this evening's convo (we have a blizzard atm, so Veep went straight home after school, delaying his parents calls) until near the end of the call. Veep adds that Chris's teaching "team" was informed of what happened as they have to get together tomorrow's classwork for Chris's in school suspension and as a collective they questioned if Chris had been to any of today's classes. And at least one was positive he hadn't. So we asked Chris to comment on the Veep's info and whilst he was trying to squirm out of it, my former "delinquent" son Jim, who is on the computer nearby, pipes up that there's more to this than Chris is telling and then gives him the "don't do what I did" lecture (short version). Seemed just a tad ironic hearing (part of) it but I'd already drawn the same conclusion. Chris does not evade well. So he got caught today at the beginning of 3rd period hiding out he says, in the boy's room stalls, got lectured by the Veep, was released and didn't go to the rest of the day's classes...because he is afraid of the teasing he'll get from his "friends." We still are not sure exactly where he was all day. He said he hung "around the office area." To me, if he gets teased for skipping class, it's a consequence of his bad choice and a reinforcement to not do it again. Right now, he's at the library getting his last two of the ten sources for the presentation that was according to him, the impetus for this. But I think a piece of the story is still to come. As mentioned we are having a very cold spell right now with huge gusty winds here in the flatlands by the Great Lakes. Today I had to renew my driver's license--it had expired and winter weather is not the time to drive around in a fishtailing Mustang without one's proper state blessing to drive. Considering that I just stepped out of a blizzard the pic is not awful so I guess I should be grateful. Anyway, it's still a "busy time of the year"...so I need to make this a hit and run. Take care, --Cyn

Vanilla

I had a plain kind of weekend. Next weekend will be insane so this was probably good. I got shopping, cleaning and some Christmas decorating done (we are "big" on the tree and it's ornaments as well--so we need to go select a tree so we can get to hanging some decorations), started my Christmas cards, and had sex!  

I'm getting started now on the b-day gift from my youngest son--the latest Patricia Cornwell story, Predator.
Cheerio all...

and Happy Monday!!!

You say it's your birthday...

My birthday~

My birthday was awesome. Anyone that knows me is aware that I love to go into the city (Chicago) for the many outstanding things it offers. Seeing "Wicked" was great fun. The Oriental Theatre was extremely beautiful and ornate and the show was top-notch. Afterward, checking out the holiday-festooned theatre/mega shopping district was big fun, too. We three had a very good time, albeit a late night considering school/work came early the next day.

Dinner at Gino's East~

Under the "L."

Marshall Field's clock

Oriental Ford Theatre. The reason for getting yelled at twice.
I never took my camera out during the performance.
Eighty bucks a ticket and I can't take a non-flash photo of the decor?! Pfft!

Detail of one of the Oriental Theatre's lobbies.

Intermission. Snuck a pic. Me bad.

From the  parking garage elevator.

Ciao for now!
--Cyn