Forever A Fangirl

"Protection of natural services is unlikely to be a priority for those who see them as free and limitless."

This should be headline news around the world but at most it'll be buried as a science/feature story.

I think it was an evil character, perhaps on the teevee show Carnivále, who made the point that man was the only animal who utterly depletes and destroys his environment and when nothing's left moves on--to another area using it up and discarding it. Wasn't a startling revelation other than the setting of the show was the 1930's.
Regardless of which evil character uttered those words, he/she is right. We are the destroyers of the earth or as my 12 y.o. son says, "Humans are the Earth's worst enemy." (Yes, I know it's been said before but it does sound rather chilling coming from a child).

http://tinyurl.com/3jdos

Human Damage to Earth Worsening Fast -Report
Wed Mar 30, 2005 05:38 AM ET 

By Alister Doyle, Environment Correspondent

OSLO (Reuters) - Humans are damaging the planet at an unprecedented rate and raising risks of abrupt collapses in nature that could spur disease, deforestation or "dead zones" in the seas, an international report said on Wednesday.

The study, by 1,360 experts in 95 nations, said a rising human population had polluted or over-exploited two-thirds of the ecological systems on which life depends, ranging from clean air to fresh water, in the past 50 years.

"At the heart of this assessment is a stark warning," said  the 45-member board of the Millennium Ecosystem Assessment.

"Human activity is putting such strain on the natural functions of Earth that the ability of the planet's ecosystems to sustain future generations can no longer be taken for granted," it said.

Ten to 30 percent of mammal, bird and amphibian species were already threatened with extinction, according to the assessment, the biggest review of the planet's life support systems.

"Over the past 50 years, humans have changed ecosystems more rapidly and extensively than in any comparable time in human history, largely to meet rapidly growing demands for food, fresh water, timber, fiber and fuel," the report said.

"This has resulted in a substantial and largely irreversible loss in the diversity of life on earth," it added. More land was changed to cropland since 1945, for instance, than in the 18th and 19th centuries combined.

GETTING WORSE

"The harmful consequences of this degradation could grow significantly worse in the next 50 years," it said. The report was compiled by experts, including from U.N. agencies and international scientific and development organizations.

U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said the study "shows how human activities are causing environmental damage on a massive scale throughout the world, and how biodiversity -- the very basis for life on earth -- is declining at an alarming rate."

The report said there was evidence that strains on nature could trigger abrupt changes like the collapse of cod fisheries off Newfoundland in Canada in 1992 after years of over-fishing.

Future changes could bring sudden outbreaks of disease. Warming of the Great Lakes in Africa due to climate change, for instance, could create conditions for a spread of cholera.

And a build-up of nitrogen from fertilizers washed off farmland into seas could spur abrupt blooms of algae that choke fish or create oxygen-depleted "dead zones" along coasts.

It said deforestation often led to less rainfall. And at some point, lack of rain could suddenly undermine growing conditions for remaining forests in a region.

"We're seeing an increasing risk of abrupt changes in many ecosystems," Walt Reid, executive director of the assessment, told Reuters.

The report said that in 100 years, global warming widely blamed on burning of fossil fuels in cars, factories and power plants, might take over as the main source of damage. The report mainly looks at other, shorter-term risks.

The study, to be handed to governments, said big changes in consumption, better education, new technology and higher prices for exploiting ecosystems could brake damage.

"Governments should recognize that natural services have costs," A.H. Zakri of the U.N. University and a co-chair of the report told Reuters. "Protection of natural services is unlikely to be a priority for those who see them as free and limitless."

 

"Since filming started, my wife has had cancer, my two kids became junkies, I went back to booze and smoking pot and then I died twice in a bike accident. Life's not all about money."

--Ozzy Osbourne in Us

Thank You, Tom DeLay

The following explains my intention to apply for American citizenship this coming spring when I go downtown to get my Resident Alien Registration renewed. Hopefully, the apply-for-citizenship office is somewhere in the vicinity...it would be logical...so I suppose I better not count on it. :/

Regardless, I'll find the building to apply in...maybe I can go on-line to get the paperwork.
If nothing else, the bozos in charge of the circus of a federal government we have are constantly motivating me to apply to be an American. If this type stuff weren't a part of the national landscape, I wouldn't feel as strongly that I must do something more than write, call, email, send money, and attend rallies to help effect change.  So in a twisted sort of way...thank you, Tom Delay.

--Cyn

A few paragraphs from Frank Rich's March 27 piece that resonated ...

... The same Mr. Bush who couldn't be bothered to interrupt his vacation during the darkening summer of 2001, not even when he received a briefing titled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.," flew from his Crawford ranch to Washington to sign Congress's Schiavo bill into law. The bill could have been flown to him in Texas, but his ceremonial arrival and departure by helicopter on the White House lawn allowed him to showboat as if he had just landed on the deck of an aircraft carrier.

Within hours he (the president) turned Ms. Schiavo into a slick applause line at a Social Security rally. "It is wise to always err on the side of life," he said, wisdom that apparently had not occurred to him in 1999, when he mocked the failed pleas for clemency of Karla Faye Tucker, the born-again Texas death-row inmate, in a magazine interview with Tucker Carlson.

These theatrics were foretold. Culture is often a more reliable prophecy than religion of where the country is going, and our culture has been screaming its theocratic inclinations for months now. The anti-indecency campaign, already a roaring success, has just yielded a new chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, Kevin J. Martin, who had been endorsed by the Parents Television Council and other avatars of the religious right. The push for the sanctity of marriage (or all marriages except Terri and Michael Schiavo's) has led to the banishment of lesbian moms on public television. The Armageddon-fueled worldview of the "Left Behind" books extends its spell by the day, soon to surface in a new NBC prime-time mini-series, "Revelations," being sold with the slogan "The End is Near."

All this is happening while polls consistently show that at most a fifth of the country subscribes to the religious views of those in the Republican base whom even George Will, speaking last Sunday on ABC's "This Week," acknowledged may be considered "extremists." In that famous Election Day exit poll, "moral values" voters amounted to only 22 percent. Similarly, an ABC News survey last weekend found that only 27 percent* of Americans thought it was "appropriate" for Congress to "get involved" in the Schiavo case and only 16 percent said it would want to be kept alive in her condition.
*Today's ABC  poll puts it at around 16%.

But a majority of American colonists didn't believe in witches during the Salem trials either - any more than the Taliban reflected the views of a majority of Afghans. At a certain point - and we seem to be at that point - fear takes over, allowing a mob to bully the majority over the short term. (Of course, if you believe the end is near, there is no long term.)

Which Polyhedral Are You?

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

You are the rare, the overlooked, yet incredibly useful dodecahedron: the d12. You are a creative, romantic soul. You often act without thinking, but make up for your lack of plans with plenty of heart. You easily solve problems that stump others, but your answers tend to put you into even deeper trouble. You write long, detailed backgrounds for all your characters, and are most likely to dress up as one or get involved in cos-play. You can be silly at times and are easily distracted by your own day dreams, but are at the end of the day you're someone who can be depended on.

Broken Eggs And Planning For Hawaii

Hanalei Bay View

Yum. I just ate the broken one.
It's siblings all made it intact, but one formerly potential s/he didn't, so s/he had to be 'et.
It's a funny day, Easter is for us non-believers.
I was raised with chocolate bunnies and plastic-coloured eggs and a family dinner. Not word one mentioned about JC in our house.

I'm really not fond of plastic egg hunts all that much. The kids turn into little beasts vying to find them, then tear them open to reveal their contents, hoping for little chocolate eggs, jelly beans, Peeps or money--in my experience money is most desired (I'll take the chocolate eggs please, with a few jelly beans if they are Jelly Bellies).
So my big thrill tomorrow barring any surprises will be colouring eggs with my son. (Spouse is putting in his last day at his second job--he quit to make time to prepare this house for sale.)

My son is on spring break from his junior high school, so he helped me haul the heaviest shipment I've attempted today.
I've buried myself in this auction uh, stuff. :/
Good thing though as spouse and I think we have an island/hotel/car/airplane picked out for Hawaii this July--and it needs to be paid for.
I was pretty overwhelmed at first, trying to figure out on which inland we should take our childless vacation--knowing that we'd have to go to Oahu twice in the eight days, until I realized that the best way to pick an island and a hotel was by discussing what we wanted when we got there--stuff like mountain vs. ocean view...boiled down to about a half a dozen "must-see's/do's. Fortunately, we pretty much want the same thing--less nightlife/shopping, more nature (followed by lounging with cocktails, quite naturally)...
So I think I have it "all". Kauai with two trips to Oahu, both to see my son, once in performance and once to hang with for the day.
Interesting "honeymoon"--it's destination dictated by our 12.5 y.o. child's performances. I take it as a good sign. Christopher was almost two years old when his dad and I got married almost eleven years ago. The pregnancy was not planned to our financial advantage so there was no money for a honeymoon. I was just getting done with grad school and was looking for a job and it was a spur of the moment decision--I decided I was "ready" to get married but all wanted was a civil ceremony.
We ended up with my sis-law's father an Episcopalian priest, doing the honours and my mother managing to involve herself enough that the setting had a frill or two.
So this has been long awaited or perhaps hard fought for.
We'll see about doing a renewing our vows thing--maybe the day/night we visit with our son...

Ciao! for now,

--Cyn

A Despicable Display Of Pure Political Pandering

Each day, since she's been unhooked from her feeding tube, I think of Ms. Schiavo and hope that she finally lets go and dies.
Her poor parents and family believe she should be kept alive so they can "care" for her. So THEY can care for her. Not because SHE wants or would have wanted to live in a persistent vegetative state. Because emotionally, they are hanging onto the thinnest of threads. Ms. Schiavo seems "alive" enough that they have mistaken her reptilian brain's actions to mean something.

I read Molly Ivins today, silently nodding as she hit point by point the outrageousness of the entire scenario of this past week.

All she didn't say is this. The politicians and "human rights activists" who are shoving their way in--involving themselves in this situation--are whores. No, strike that. There's no reason to insult whores that way. These "people" are sub-human, greedy, pandering SOB's who need to stay the f**k out of this private family matter.

--Cyn

What a despicable display of pure political pandering. What an insult to everyone who has faced this decision without ever considering asking 535 strangers in Washington, D.C., what to do.
--Molly Ivins

Published on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 by the Daily Camera (Boulder, CO)

Fatuous Politicians Have No Business Here
by Molly Ivins

I write about the Terry Schiavo case both as one who has personally confronted the "pull the plug" question on several levels in recent years and as a staggered observer of this festival of political hypocrisy, opportunism and the trashing of constitutional law, common sense and common decency.

Look, the fundamental question in such cases is, "Who decides?" Preferably, the dying themselves, with a living will. In this case, evidence that Terry Schiavo did not want her life continued in its current pitiable state has been offered and accepted in several courts of law. Next, the next-of-kin, though in many cases someone else may be closer to the dying person, such as a longtime lover, and should be legally designated to make the decision through power of attorney. Bad cases make bad law, and this is a bad case. In the tragic cases where a family splits on the decision, the case goes to court, where there is a well-established body of law on the subject. The Schiavo case has been litigated for seven years now, the verdict upheld at every level (including the U.S. Supreme Court, by refusing to hear arguments).

It is beyond comprehension, not to mention the Constitution, that the Congress of the United States and the president should have involved themselves at this point.

What on earth makes them think they have the right to do so? Both libertarians and constitutional conservatives, including Justice Scalia, should be having fits over this push by the federal government into a private family matter. Congress has no power to overturn judicial decisions, nor has it any role in such painful personal decisions. This is as arrogant a usurpation of power as we have had since FDR's court-packing plan. As Barney Frank, D-Mass., so trenchantly put it, "This is a terribly difficult decision which we are, institutionally, totally incompetent to make." George W. Bush is neither a neurologist nor a medical ethicist. What on earth is he doing in this case?

For your information, while he was governor of Texas, George W. Bush signed the Advanced Directives Act in 1999, which gives hospitals the right to remove life support in cases where there is no possibility of revival, when the family cannot pay, no matter what the family's wishes are in the matter. In Texas, you can only live in a persistent vegetative state if you are accepted in one of the few institutions that provide such care or if your family is both willing and able to take care of you. And if Bush is so concerned about the right to life, why didn't he give death-row inmate Carla Faye Tucker more than 10 minutes consideration and some cheap mockery? The very Republicans who pushed for this arrogant, interfering bill, which if used across the board would take away everyone's right to make their own decisions in these awful cases, are the same people who voted to cut Medicaid, which pays for the care of people like Terry Schiavo across the country.

That the main player in this fiasco is Majority Leader Tom DeLay — who is in the midst of yet another scandal himself — is enough to make anyone throw up. This is a man whose sense of morality is so deformed that upon being chastised three times by the House Ethics Committee, his response was to change the rules and stack the committee.

She's Upset Again

There isn't even a hint of spring here. It's still gunmetal gray, COLD, bitter, ugly. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

How's this for quaint? I used Fed Ex for the first time yesterday.
As a business. My business. Heh.
I did the big customer service thing with a lady who was frantic to get a baby carrier that I have on auction but she "can't wait" for the auction to end (can they ever?!), so did I have another one? I did. Her request was that it be Fed-Ex'd so I signed up on-line as a business, found out (if there's a next time) that they provide all supplies for free, ordered a bunch 'cos I like free stuff, and wrapped her carrier and dumped it in the Fed Ex box within a couple hours of her initial request. Now that's customer service, lol. I won't even score any points because the deal was directly me to her--so no feedback. I just have my own little sense of satisfaction that I helped her out, didn't put the screws to her price-wise, and now have an account with FedEx. Wheee.

I do have a bit of an issue staring at me for Sunday.
Last Christmas, my (blood) family came to my home so we did not drive up north (about an hour-plus) to where my husband's family had their Christmas.
In years past we've usually been able to work in a Christmas Eve thing--but it seems no one wanted to do it that way this year. So...

On the day after Christmas (Boxing Day ), my spouse got a call from his mother demanding to know why we "skimped" on one grab-bag gift and got the wrong one for the other. Since neither was her gift I don't know why she was relaying this news. (I lie. I do know. She's a meddlesome old woman.) My spouse didn't have clue one what she was talking about as I did all the Christmas shopping this year past (fair, as he was working huge hours), with a great deal of it taken directly from their lists and ordered on-line (one was impossible to find in the stores).
I got really pissed (oh, big surprise there) as I did not skimp--I actually spent more having stuff special ordered and expedited shipped. And I got exactly what was asked for--I got nothing wrong. As I said to my spouse, "For f**k's sake, I've been doing this for how many years--filling orders on-line?" (with perfect feedback I might add. I don't do a job unless I can do it well--and lets face it this is not erm, computer science.)
So when I felt calm enough not to swear--which was the next evening, I called her back to clarify what I bought and how much it cost. I had the Christmas lists and the receipts but she wouldn't believe me! Wouldn't take my word. And this was after, in front of their whole clan, I'd (we'd) been reamed for being cheapskates. (I'm sure if we'd been there in person, they'd have asked us to bend over.) I told her fine then, I'll send receipts and copies of their (stupid) lists to all who had a problem (I had spouse look things over double, double checking--all good) and, I said, this was "it."
Meaning I'm done with their petty-ass bullshit. This type stuff has happened before and not just to us--they are a classless bunch.
So now Easter is upon us. Mother-in-law invites all to partake of her gawd-awful (no exaggeration) cooking and I'm not willing to go hang with that bunch of hypocritical, unapologetic, hillbillies.

It'd be just fine, if my son didn't have cousins to visit with and an egg hunt that his grandmother puts together. So my youngest is going--which means spouse has to drive him. It's an hour up north, so he may as well stay for the "festivities." Meanwhile, I spend Easter here. Which really doesn't matter as the only reason for Easter for a heathen like me is an excuse to get together with family and to eat chocolate bunnies (Russell Stover, pls.).
So do I compromise my principles and go to the "family" gathering or stay home and enjoy the sweet solitude?

P.S. I hate ham.

Lesson reinforced: When you marry someone, you marry his/her family.

Happy Spring Solstice!

Please--celebrate fertility responsibly. :)

This is what early spring looks like in this neck of the uh, plains. It's dead of night, so no wind chill. (Few people at this hour to turn into human icicles, so why bother?)
So anyway here's a pic of some indoor flowers. My next house shall have southern exposure!
I need greenery!

Happy, Happy vernal equinox.
Anyone for a fertility ritual?

FARK Material

How to hypnotize a man--Click here--if you dare!

Speaking of mundane things...

...I had my yearly echo-cardiogram done yesterday. You'd think being behind closed doors with me stripped to the waist with loads of lube at the ready that there'd be some fun somewhere but no, the echo tech just kept so much pressure on my ribcage, I was tempted to ask if she'd ever  broken  anyone's rib(s) whilst doing her job. I instead remained silent, hoping that it would soon be over.

I know y'all are dying to know how I did (j/k).
The echo tech was the same person as I had for last year's test so that's good I think, for consistancy's sake. She didn't remember me, but after I remarked that I thought she was the same echo tech from last year, she glanced at the chart and verified it. She also verified that the results were looking the same as last year--an Ejection Fraction of 40-45%. The "line" where one crosses into heart failure is 40% EF, so my meds. and me are keeping me treading H2O.

I've changed my mind about the SSDisability claim. After 4.5 months ( there is NO stipulated time frame in which they must respond) they still haven't told me if they are saying yay or nay as I try to re-up. When I came home yesterday though, I did some refresher reading on this "benefit" and I think it would behoove me to appeal, if they reject it.
(Because I'm stubborn, I worked at the store for three hours straight ( usually I do about 1.5 hours at a time) the other day. I was completely exhausted when I came home. Three farking hours. Bah.)
Before a judge I'd most likely get a "yes" answer on the claim. So it'll be long and drawn out and a big pain--but it's worth it.

I thought I had to be something or do something that was somehow in line with who I used to be/what I used to do. But I don't. I'm happy with the roles I play now and atm, financially I'm not forced to change beyond what I've done--which is take over the book dept (they now don't let anyone do anything other than straighten--I determine what stays and goes--yay me. It's volunteer in the sense that I don't draw a paycheck, but the few books (and a few other things) I buy and put up for sale are selling well.
It's a part-time salary and I'm not breaking any Disability rules so no fretting there. (The cut-off for SSD is if I can make more than roughly $900 a month, I'm *EDIT* less eligible--bennies decrease). Well, I'm not doing that well, lol.)

Spouse quit his second job (this weekend is his last) and I'm hoping he doesn't take on another. We need to put the time into making the house adorable in under a year so it is market-ready.

His full-time position is at Motorola and they are as harsh a taskmaster as any big corp. Without announcement yesterday, they sent everyone notification of raises and bonuses or lack thereof. Always before, they have had a "town hall" meeting but this year things are different. The newest trend in farking the American middle class worker over is to cut out awarding raises and to slash bonuses.
They had their big guns (attorneys) at the ready yesterday and people were told don't bother with HR--they can't/won't help you.
No union, of course. This is not our grandfather's America.
We were lucky. My spouse is underpaid as he didn't join the company until age 37--so he was one of the few who did qualify for a (reduced) raise and will next year, too. And the bonus, though reduced 40% was still there.
Everyone's being told to work towards promotion but lots of them have hit the pay-scale ceiling (which they arbitrarily changed earlier this year).
And this is what I was fretting about? Going back into corporate bullshit America?
Um, no thanks. Me and my sorta broken ticker are going to continue to live life on "our" own terms.     

I'm feeling pretty good, atm. Chris and I just took the dog for a medium-long walk. It's blustery, drizzling, and the sky has been steely gray all day.
My nose and eyes ran and my face was stinging from the cold but the dog and the kid were quite blissfully unaware. Now I'm home and I'm staying here.

Happy trails to all!
(until we meet again)

--Cyn

There's a word for this nasty, endless season

I :heart:  Mary Schmich.  She (this column) was responsible for both my first smile and chuckle of the day on Wednesday. :)
I've mostly bolded and italicized my favourite parts. As a fellow Chicagoan, this is my life right now.

"... And on the days when it's gray again--gray again, gray again, gray, gray, gray again--remind yourself, "But when it's sunny, it's so much colder. At least it's not 19 degrees."

http://tinyurl.com/3wcnl

Mary Schmich
There's a word for this nasty, endless season

Published March 16, 2005

We're living through the interminable month of Grump.

In other climates, Grump goes by a different name. In those distant places where at this very minute the air is warm and the flowering trees rise toward the blue sky, Grump is known as March.

But March by any other name, at least when that name is Grump, does not smell so sweet. Grump does not smell like dogwoods and orange blossoms and the assorted nectars of places where March is everything March is cracked up to be.

Grump smells like houses whose windows haven't been opened since October.

Grump smells like a soggy boot.

Actually, Grump is more than a month. It's a season, one long enough to span several sports. Grump begins in January (football), escalates through February (basketball), reaches its full bloom right now (spring training) and will hang on until the Cubs are losing again.

You thought St. Patrick's Day was invented to honor the Irish? Not in Chicago. St. Pat's is a life-saving distraction, a ray of funshine, in the endless endless endless endless weeks of Grump.

But spring is coming, they say. Barely a week to go. They say.

Yeah, right. Veterans of Grump season know that "spring" is just a word fashionable in song, poetry and Phoenix. In Chicago in March, it's as much a fantasy as mountains. Here's a spring poem, Chicago-style:

There once was a season named Grump

It made me get cranky and plump

I whined and I whimpered

I was so ill-tempered

I kicked old March right in the rump.

Grump season is made worse this year by events. The news lately is thick with sadness, rage, pointless death.

I don't say that lightly. The news is its own form of weather. It permeates our collective psyche as much as the cold invades our bodies. The events around us shape our thoughts, color our moods, settle like sun or like stones on our hearts. The news here these past couple of weeks has made chilly days even colder and darker.

But enough grumping. We have to take the season's grumpiness in our own hands. Our own winter-chapped hands. To that end, I offer a few remedies for Grump season:

- Stop grumping. Complaining isn't a cure. It's more like swallowing poison.

- Repeat after me: "At least it's sunny. At least it's sunny." On days when that's true, tell yourself that it doesn't matter that it's 19 degrees out as long as the sun's out too.

- And on the days when it's gray again--gray again, gray again, gray, gray, gray again--remind yourself, "But when it's sunny, it's so much colder. At least it's not 19 degrees."

- Turn off the news. You do not have to consume every piece of grim news available. Read a poem instead. But not the one above.

- Find a park, preferably one with a conservatory. Garfield Park. Lincoln Park. Walk through the orchids and ferns, in the steam and the mist, with your jacket unbuttoned and sweat on your brow. Notice your lungs and mind expand.

- Avoid other grumps. That may mean you have no one to talk to. But grumpfests don't make the grumpy any less so.

- Do not--I repeat DO NOT--discuss weather with your friends in Arizona, Florida and California. "Oh, you should see the flowers!" they'll say. "We sat outside for dinner last night!" "Things are popping up all over in my garden!" Or, the worst, "It's hard to believe it's so cold there when it's so perfect here. Why don't you move?"

- Why DON'T you move? Because life is more than weather.

March 19, 2004--Two Years of Iraq-American War--Come Together (Right Now)

(from MoveOn.org)

March 19th, 2005 will mark 2 full years since the bombs started falling in Iraq. As of today, 1,516 American troops have been killed in combat, and over 11,220 have been seriously injured.  Uncounted tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians have died, and millions are without electricity or running water.

The Bush administration is in the middle of an optimism campaign on Iraq, and wants us to believe that a stable peace is around the corner.  But most realists see years of chaos and violence ahead. The two-year anniversary of the invasion is an important time to come together in response.

Our friends at Sojourners--a network of progressive faith-based communities--are organizing peace vigils all across the country, and they have asked MoveOn members to join them. You can either find a vigil in your neighborhood, or start one of your own. It's a first step--an opportunity to mark this date with a solemn recognition of those we have lost, and a firm commitment to finding a better way.

To find a vigil near you, just go to:

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=654

To host a vigil, go to:

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=655

The vigils will take many different forms. Some are hosted by churches, synagogues and mosques and include religious prayers. Some are hosted by local peace groups and are non-denominational. Resources are available online to help you organize either type. Common elements include reading the names of fallen Americans and Iraqis, prayer for peace, and silence.

This anniversary is also an important time to reflect on the war itself, and where we go from here.  The fundamental error of the invasion has left us, as a nation, with no opportunity for a quick fix. But together, we must address the catastrophe Bush has created, and ensure we are never again deceived into a reckless war.

Last summer, we surveyed MoveOn members to determine where folks stood on Iraq.  An overwhelming majority of us agreed that we need to have a clear exit plan.  And that consensus remains: in order to gain the trust of the Iraqi people, they must know that we don't intend to be there forever.

In the days ahead, we will work together to end the war, by pressuring the President to negotiate a binding exit plan with the Iraqi government.  We will push to ensure that America doesn't establish permanent military bases in Iraq, which would send such a terrible message to the world about our motives there.

Together, we will demand that Congress root out the corporate corruption that has undercut the rebuilding efforts and washed billions we've already put into Iraq down the drain.  This is especially crucial as Congress prepares to approve another $80+ billion for Iraq.

And we will counter the Bush doctrine of shortsighted, go-it-alone militarism by promoting healthy engagement with the international community--the best way to accomplish diplomatic goals, and address real security threats.

Finally, we'll organize to increase the political consequences for misleading the country into war.  Future lawmakers must know that illegitimate wars come at a great political cost. 

Our work together goes on.  But this Saturday, let's begin by commemorating what has happened, mourning those we have lost and building hope together for a more peaceful world.

To find and join a two-year anniversary peace vigil, click here:

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=654

To host your own vigil, click here

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=655

Thanks for all that you do to make the world a more secure and peaceful place.

Sincerely,

--Eli Pariser, Ben Brandzel and the MoveOn.org Team

Brass In Pocket

Have you ever been to the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland? It is the reason to stop by Cleveland on your next trip from here to there.

And my rock n' role heroine--Chrissie Hynde, has just been inducted into the Hall Of Fame!

To me at age 20, Chrissie Hynde epitomized cool with her "don't fuck with me" attitude, really sexy/cool fingerless gloves, leather jacket, and heavy black eyeliner hidden behind a (sorta-butch-looking) shag with very long bangs.

Chrissie had me wrapped around her fingerless-gloved finger with her first album which burst forth on the heels of the "punk invasion" of the late 1970's. I've loved her ever since. Even her really schmaltzy stuff (often sans Pretenders) doesn't really grate on my nerves (much). I like her that much--still. Chrissie came along in the early 1980's- a period in popular music when there was an openness to a strong, unconventionally sexy chick singer-songwriter--who ran the band. :)

Amusing interview with the only other surviving original member, long-time Pretenders drummer Martin Chambers, on the occassion of the induction and more:

 "I don't think  she's difficult to get along with . . . as long as you do what she says."

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/_/id/7092333?
rssfeed=musicnews&rnd=1110873581953&has-player=true&version=6.0.12.1040

Very, very cool and very awesome because I love U2 also!
Yes I do. :)
I do not know how anyone can listen to the lyrics in "One" ( a U2 song) and not "get it."
Excellent guitar band--none better, IMO.

So yay them, but I think they get lots of awards and Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders probably don't (anymore) so double yay for Chrissie, sho doesn't look like she'll be putting down her um, guitar any time soon.

Buddy Guy (seen below) is a local here where I live. His night club, Buddy Guy's Legends attracts all kind of blues-"legends," up and coming, and name-brand people
--and of course he plays there. So yay to Buddy Guy, too.

U2, Pretenders Among Rock Hall Inductees

By DAVID BAUDER, Associated Press Writer

       

Buddy Guy accepts his award with B.B. King watching ...

 

Monday

I saw the preview of the next Star Wars movie last night--that was pretty cool--looks promising.
Robots--two out of three of us liked it.
These little cartoon movies all seem to follow the same storyline--nice, but down on his luck/sort-of failure-type guy goes out into the big world to make it big with many adventures along the way. :shrug:

I am neither here nor there today. It's cold and gray outside my window. I need to go out and I want it to be warm but I don't think Mother Nature cares much what I want.

Progress on the cosmetic-type stuff on the house--
Another new door being prepped as I type (sanded for finishing (3-step process with many hours in-between) and hopefully the second door will get the same treatment so that step will be done.
Ou main focus is the bathrooms and kitchen. Kinda leaving the kitchen for last because that'll be where we decide just how much money we want to spend--before we put the place on the market. The rest of this stuff is gotta-do. Ah, home-improvement!

Happy, happy Monday and just plain happy day to those in other time zones.

Sunday

Getting ready to watch Chris's group perform--it's the only time I go to church, heh.
Afterward, we are seeing Robots and getting dinner out--don't know where yet.
My status is okay--though yesterday was another round of "How hellish do you want your life to be?"

I'm jazzed that I auctioned a book on Preston Tucker for $84. It sat seemingly unnoticed for days, then climbed into the 30-something $ range--then bidding wars! The book is worth about $100 in the bookselling market but people expect a deal on eBay (though often will pay the same or even more than they have to for some items). The Tucker book profits are specifically California money--it's about a third of my plane ticket--yay!

For various reasons, we just added our kid to our mobile phone plan. I still marvel that the little buggers can bring them to school (set on vibrate, thank you) but I'm just positive that there is no text messaging going on at any time during school hours. 
I gave Chris my "old" (a year, maybe?) phone and now have a Motorola (gotta keep it in the family) V265 that I need to watch a CD-ROM be able to fully utilize. It has many bells and whistles but most of 'em will be left unused. I'm not big on using my home phone, so cellular is not big deal either. It may be handy to check prices of collectible books without buying first but if I do say so myself I have about a 90% rate of picking books that are worth something. Yes, when one makes this kind of living it's all about profits, all the time.  (Actually, that's the fun part--truly it's about making the customer happy--which seems to be the basis of all our jobs--making someone happy with what we do.)

Hope you are are enjoying whatever you are doing...it's still very much winter, here in the land of poopy weather.

Cheers!

--Cyn

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"Meg, she's scared; she's lost her father. She says, 'Mommy, I'm not going to lose you. They're not going to get you.' I said, 'No, Meg.' Of course, I don't know. I never thought this could happen."
JOAN HUMPHREY LEFKOW,   the judge whose husband and mother were slain in her home.

NODD-1 statistics and NODD-2 on April 15

Many people have asked us to quantify how Not One Damn Dime Day went. So we did. First the survey results, then our suggestion for Not One Damn Dime Tax Day, on April 15 (please send out this email to everynioe you know!)

We conducted a survey of NODD participants via Bentley College in Waltham Massachusetts. The first set of results are directly from the survey respondents. Then we extrapolate (estimate) how those results apply nationwide. More details are available at http://www.notonedamndime.com/boycott/Survey_Count.asp#counts including the survey methodology and links to the survey instrument.

* The 1276 respondents reported their total normal spending for that day would have been $59,729, or $46.81 on average; their reported actual spending total was $8,035.16, or $6.30 on average.

* The total amount withheld (normal minus actual) was $51,693.84, or $40.51 on average.

* The total number to whom respondents passed along info about NotOneDamnDime was 27,170 or on average 21.3 people, and the total number of folks they personally knew who participated was 45,899, or an average of 36 people.

* 63.5% found out about the NODD protest by e-mail and e-mail is the way 56.9% of them in turn told others about NODD, twice the percentage who told others in a face to face conversation.

*** Extrapolated results: (Extrapolations are estimates based on the limited information from the survey results above. These are the best estimates of NODD participation available. Contact Jesse Gordon for methodology.)

* 200 million to 210 million emails were sent about NODD (based on survey ratios and TV/radio estimates).

* That translates to about 40-45 million different people who heard about it by email. (based on survey’s average number of email receipts)

* 30-35 million heard about it on TV/radio/newspaper (based on our summing of viewership/listenership",1] ); //-->Many people have asked us to quantify how Not One Damn Dime Day went. So we did. First the survey results, then our suggestion for Not One Damn Dime Tax Day, on April 15 (please send out this email to everynioe you know!)

We conducted a survey of NODD participants via Bentley College in Waltham Massachusetts. The first set of results are directly from the survey respondents. Then we extrapolate (estimate) how those results apply nationwide. More details are available at http://www.notonedamndime.com/boycott/Survey_Count.asp#counts including the survey methodology and links to the survey instrument.

* The 1276 respondents reported their total normal spending for that day would have been $59,729, or $46.81 on average; their reported actual spending total was $8,035.16, or $6.30 on average.

* The total amount withheld (normal minus actual) was $51,693.84, or $40.51 on average.

* The total number to whom respondents passed along info about NotOneDamnDime was 27,170 or on average 21.3 people, and the total number of folks they personally knew who participated was 45,899, or an average of 36 people.

* 63.5% found out about the NODD protest by e-mail and e-mail is the way 56.9% of them in turn told others about NODD, twice the percentage who told others in a face to face conversation.

*** Extrapolated results: (Extrapolations are estimates based on the limited information from the survey results above. These are the best estimates of NODD participation available. Contact Jesse Gordon for methodology.)

* 200 million to 210 million emails were sent about NODD (based on survey ratios and TV/radio estimates).

* That translates to about 40-45 million different people who heard about it by email. (based on survey’s average number of email receipts)

* 30-35 million heard about it on TV/radio/newspaper (based on our summing of viewership/listenership

/readership, minus some duplication).

* With substantial overlap between those two groups, the total number of individuals who heard about the boycott is about 50-55 million. (1 in 5 Americans, which jives with anecdotal evidence).

* We estimate a participation rate of about 4% by those who heard about it (based on participation commitment rate on this website).

* Therefore we estimate a total participation nationwide of about 2 million people.

* The economic impact was a total delayed spending of $81 million (based on total participation multipled by survey of average decreased spending).

*** On April 15th, please join us in an effort to stop the growing national debt that threatens our country's future and security on national and international levels.

Here's the 'Not One Damn Dime Day Part Two' email. Please read it, share it with as many people as possible and join us on tax day, April 15th, for a virtual march on Washington as tens of millions of us speak our piece to those who represent us, and tell them, 'Not One Damn Dime For Fiscal Insanity.'

******************************

NOT ONE DAMN DIME DAY - PART II

DEMAND RESPONSIBLE SPENDING ON TAX DAY

Because the people in Washington continue to mortgage America's future with tax cuts and deficit spending, because corporate America and the corporate press continue to hide their heads in the sand about it, Tax Day, April 15th, 2005 is Not One Damn Dime Tax Day across America.

On Not One Damn Dime Tax Day, email the people who represent you in Washington. Tell them to stop playing fast and loose with the economy. Sit down at the computer and speak up. Take part in a virtual march on Washington by emailing both of your Senators, as well as your Representative.

Tell them you're mad as hell about their fiscal insanity. Tell them cutting taxes and going deeper into debt than this nation has ever gone is no way to run America. Tell them 'Not One Damn Dime more in national debt.'

Tell them to do right by the American people, and the issues they care about, like education and health care. Tell them they are not elected by the corporations and corporate lobbyists who are lining the halls of congress (and lining your representatives' pockets) looking to reduce their tax obligations one minute, and increase government subsidies to their industries the next. Tell them 'Not One Damn Dime more in corporate tax breaks.'

Tell them that more spending on an unnecessary war in Iraq is throwing good money after bad, and threatens our national security. Tell them to support our troops by bringing them home now. Tell them 'Not One Damn Dime more for military adventures.'

Tell them people across America, red and blue, agree: It's unfair to saddle future generations of Americans with trillions of dollars in principal and interest for programs and pork Washington wants, but won't pay for, today. Tell them 'Not One Damn Dime more in pork.'

Tell them that, with the Euro breathing down America's neck, with foreign banks getting nervous about the size of America's debt, they owe America tough decisions and real solutions more than they owe their corporate buddies another favor. Email them on April 15th. Tell them 'Not One Damn Dime!'

Just three little emails. Send them anytime between 12:01 AM and 11:59 PM on April 15th. (You can find the appropriate addresses and sample messages at http://www.notonedamndime.com .)

On April 15th, 2005, write your Senators and your Representative. Tell them you don't want them to borrow one damn dime more; that they have no right to put your children and grandchildren's names on their IOUs. Tell them to stop porking around and get America's fiscal act together. Now.

Please share this as an email with as many people as possible, and please express your opinion at www.NotOneDamnDime.com .

***********************************
   About this message
***********************************

We encourage you to forward this newsletter to your friends, family, and colleagues. Please sign up at www.NotOneDamnDime.com to receive further updates or to register your support and voice your opinion.

We plan to send a periodic newsletter to Not One Damn Dime supporters.

If you do not want to receive future newsletters, please reply with 'Remove' as the subject line.

-- Jesse Alan Gordon
Jesse@NotOneDamnDime.com

***********************************
Not One Damn Dime Day
1770 Mass Ave. #630
Cambridge MA 02140
newsletter@NotOneDamnDime.com
Tel. (617) 320-6989
http://www.NotOneDamnDime.com
***********************************

Neutered Newsmen

Frank Rich's opinion piece covers a lot of ground. Journalists and politics and how they mix is the broad topic, but Rich pokes around in some dark corners and comes up with a piece worth the read.
Some parts that especially resonated with me were:

Today you can't tell the phonies without a scorecard. Besides the six "journalists" we know to have been paid by the administration or its backers, bloggers were on the campaign payrolls of both a Republican office-seeker (South Dakota's Senator John Thune) and a Democrat (Howard Dean) during last year's campaign. This week The Los Angeles Times reported that Arnold Schwarzenegger's administration, "taking a cue from President Bush's administration," had distributed fake news videos starring a former TV reporter to extol the governor's slant on a legislative proposal. Back in Washington, the Social Security Administration is refusing to comply with Freedom of Information Act requests for information about its use of public relations firms - such as those that funneled taxpayers' money to the likes of Armstrong Williams. Don't expect news organizations dedicated to easy-listening news to get to the bottom of it.

and,

Hunter Thompson did not do investigative reporting, but he would have had a savage take on our news-free world - not least because it resembles his own during the Nixon era, before he had calcified into the self-parodistic pop culture cartoon immortalized by Garry Trudeau, Bill Murray, Johnny Depp and most of his eulogists. Read "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72 - the chronicle of his Rolling Stone election coverage - and you find that his diagnosis of journalistic dysfunction hasn't aged a day: "The most consistent and ultimately damaging failure of political journalism in America has its roots in the clubby/cocktail personal relationships that inevitably develop between politicians and journalists." He cites as a classic example the breathless but belated revelations of the mental history of George McGovern's putative running mate, the Missouri Senator Thomas Eagleton - a story that had long been known by "half of the political journalists in St. Louis and at least a dozen in the Washington press corps." This same clubby pack would be even tardier on Watergate, a distasteful assignment left to a pair of lowly police-beat hacks at The Washington Post.

This is pretty good, too.
Go Ahhnuld! *shakes head*

This week The Los Angeles Times reported that Arnold Schwarzenegger's administration, "taking a cue from President Bush's administration," had distributed fake news videos starring a former TV reporter to extol the governor's slant on a legislative proposal.

March 6, 2005

Gonzo Gone, Rather Going, Watergate Still Here

Frank Rich

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/03/06/arts/06rich.html?th=&pagewanted=print&position=

TWO weeks ago Hunter S. Thompson committed suicide. Next week Dan Rather commits ritual suicide, leaving the anchor chair at CBS prematurely as penance for his toxic National Guard story. The two journalists shared little but an abiding distaste - make that hatred in Thompson's case - for the Great Satan of 20th-century American politics, Richard Nixon. The best work of both was long behind them. Yet memories of that best work - not to mention the coincidental timing of their departures - only accentuate the vacuum in that cultural category we stubbornly insist on calling News.

What's missing from News is the news. On ABC, Peter Jennings devotes two hours of prime time to playing peek-a-boo with U.F.O. fanatics, a whorish stunt crafted to deliver ratings, not information. On NBC, Brian Williams is busy as all get-out, as every promo reminds us, "Reporting America's Story." That story just happens to be the relentless branding of Brian Williams as America's anchorman - a guy just too in love with Folks Like Us to waste his time looking closely at, say, anything happening in Washington.

In this environment, it's hard to know whom to root for. After the "60 Minutes" fiasco, Mr. Williams's boss, the NBC president Jeff Zucker, piously derided CBS for its screw-up, bragging of the reforms NBC News instituted after a producer staged a truck explosion for a "Dateline NBC" segment in 1992. "Nothing like that could have gotten through, at any level," Mr. Zucker said of the CBS National Guard story, "because of the safeguards we instituted more than a decade ago." Good for him, but it's not as if a lot else has gotten through either. When was the last time Stone Phillips delivered a scoop, with real or even fake documents, on "Dateline"? Or that NBC News pulled off an investigative coup as stunning as the "60 Minutes II" report on Abu Ghraib? That, poignantly enough, was Mr. Rather's last hurrah before he, too, and through every fault of his own, became a neutered newsman.

Daily Dose Of Imagery

You must check out this site. You want to know what the streets of downtown Toronto look like through this photographer's incredible eye? The subject matter is eclectic, yet very often familiar-- seen through his unique "lens."

Bleh

I'm getting envious of everyone having good weather. Day after bloody day, it's gray and bleak here. I don't know how anyone lives their entire life in such a dreary place. I know I'm here for one reason: family. Got a few more years to go on that, then we'll see.

I received a bunch of frantic phone calls from my Dad's sis in Ontario today. I was sleeping so I missed most of them but she was flipping out because my mom, who is not quite right in the head, told her something drastic and deadly was wrong with my Dad. It's not. He's wearing the catheter and has the bag attached to him, whilst he makes the neccesary stops at the grocery store, pharmacy, etc. Nothing keeps that guy down and this is just one more reason why I had no chance to be a docile little thing. He's a stubborn Scotsman and my mom is just plain onery and pig-headed.
They are grown-ups and though I wish to the powers that they would move back here, near to all their immediate family--it's not happening until something drastic happens (code words for someone dies). I've accepted it after years of anguishing. You can't control anyone, including your elderly parents.

I'm blue. February is the cruelest month yes, but early March here isn't much different. I so need a top-down ride in the 'stang. Ooh, I just want to go for a nice long drive in the country--I'll even take the suburbs--I just need AIR!

My son is still sick (Day 4). He has never in his life been as sick as often as he has this year. My deduction: Junior High School is bad for one's health.

Spouse and son number 1 are working today. I need to work on some auctions for eBay and then go do laps.

Hoping you all are having a fun and/or peaceful or some kind of combo weekend.

Peace and good karma,

--Cyn

God Just Rolls Her Eyes

They're not just dildos, baby. They're a flag of righteousness. They're an emblem of all that is right and good and delicious and that must be defended to the death. Dildos are, in short, a beacon of hope. Wave yours high, won't you? And then point it in the general direction of Alabama, and laugh.

This article struck me as funny (and the "news," ridiculous) partly because I belong to a forum where the ladies have taken matters quite literally into their own hands, writing in a thread which was originally intended for everyone to be open about masturbation. The women of the forum especially, continue to celebrate their abilities/enjoyment of to be blunt, getting themselves off.

No partner needed and a whole heck of a lotta fun--especially with the many variations of dildos and vibes that are at our disposal.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend?
I think more accurately, dildos are.

--Cyn

Just one more note that probably makes too much common sense, so extreme right Christians, you've been warned.

If we promoted self-satisfaction as an alternative to sex with another person, it could decrease unwanted pregnancies/abortions.
Why doesn't the extreme right embrace dildos, waving them like flags as an alternative to sex with another person?
Only those that would make consensual sex into something dirty and UNLAWFUL would know the answer to that.
--Cyn again (and again, lol)

Sweet Home, Alabama Dildos
        Yet another state gets to outlaw "genital stimulating devices," as God just rolls her eyes
- By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, March 4, 2005

I cannot imagine not being able to walk into a nice clean well-lit store staffed by friendly funky well-informed employees with interesting haircuts and walk out with an armful of friendly dildos.

I cannot imagine not being able to walk right in on any given Christian Sunday to Good Vibrations here in the City (or Toys in Babeland in Seattle or the Hustler store in LA or any number of other such clean 'n' decent 'n' prurient storefronts around the land) and stock up on sex lotions and potions and gadgets and gizmos on a whim, on a second date, on a weekend, before Valentine's Day, on Easter, on Christmas, just for the hell of it or because the SO winkingly suggested it or the giddy carnal urges demanded it or because I needed to buy sexy birthday gifts or just because my supplies were running low and I have yet to install that in-bedroom three-gallon Astroglide wall pump.

I cannot, in other words, imagine living in Alabama. Or Texas. Or Louisiana. Or Georgia. Or Tennessee. Or in any of the handful of terrified and morally convulsive states where they prohibit such activities, where the selling of "genital stimulating devices" is outright illegal and deeply dreaded.

And stores that sell such nightmare devices are declared a threat to the community and a hazard to the soul and a sure sign of the devil and if you are caught selling a vibrator or using a dildo you could get 10 years in prison and/or be condemned to live in Alabama for the rest of your life.

Alabama. Illegal dildos. In the spotlight recently, as the U.S. Supreme Court just declined to review the constitutionality of the state's law banning the sale of such naughty and phallically radiant toys. Did you see the story? Did it make you cringe and sigh and reach for the Hitachi Magic Wand? Aren't we just a proud and deeply misguided nation?

Oh, it is fun to laugh. It is fun to mock and point and say, aww, how cute, those lost and weird and backass Southern states where most people are just trying to live noble upstanding honest lives but where they still insist on putting stickers on biology textbooks to warn of the "dangers" of the theory of evolution.

Places where raw honest sexuality is a foreign language and homosexuality is considered a disease and where they lovingly allow sales of Viagra and Cialis and where they inject vats of Prozac and Xanax into their bodies alongside truckloads of deep-fried obesity-happy everything, but the thought of someone using a sex toy to please herself or her lover and to add to the overall positive orgasmic vibe of the planet is considered on par, legally speaking, with pedophilia, or burglary, or being from France.

And it's nice to think that, with the exception of a handful of sexless lawmakers and deeply repressed religious leaders who apparently possess genitalia so shriveled and sad not even their favorite Thai prostitutes can revive it, the vast majority of Americans scoff at this sort of law, sigh and shake their heads and move on. Yes, even those who live in Alabama, or in Texas (certainly in Austin, which mostly sort of pretends it's just visiting Texas and doesn't actually live there).

And sure, furthermore, you might argue that this is what makes America great, yes? Diversity. Diversity of opinion and diversity of education and diversity of sexual understanding, one educated progressive open-minded sexually open side understanding that sex is the divine nectar that makes the human flower moan and smile and bloom, and the other sneering and scoffing side merely shuddering and convulsing at the very sight of the naked human form, and not in a good way.

Call it dramatic tension, healthy debate, a fascinating slice of human drama. Always good for America, right?

Wrong. This isn't what makes America great. Alabama's isn't the type of tremulous sexual dread and religious puling that makes us a stronger and more unique and exciting and fascinating country in which to live and loathe and pilot our SUVs through the mud puddles and over the playgrounds and into other cars.

This dildo thing, and the mind-set it represents, it is the type of thing that makes us small, keeps us lost, confused, torn; it's emblematic of what holds us back from true progress and heat and joy. It is, in short, what makes us silly and actually quite pathetic in the eyes of a wild and deeply sensual and body-glittered ambisexual God.

Hurry Spring Time!

Trying out the "portrait" function on my Nikon D-70...

Used portait setting on camera and paint brush (one click) afterward .
Clickety-click the pic!

Used portait setting on camera and paint brush (one click) afterward on this one, too.
Couldn't resist pretending I can paint! :)

The End Of NYPD Blue

NYTIMES SOURCE

I watched the show about a year and half in, during the "Jimmy Smits" years and  maybe two beyond. When Smits and Kim Delaney, the leads that I liked best had left I gave it one year then left, too.

They  are both so doable! Yum!
   
NYPD BLUE is at last over.
It was really good for a good, long while.

March 1, 2005

OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR

Watching the Detectives

By LUCAS MILLER

WITH the 12-year run of "NYPD Blue" ending tonight, I have to confess deep affection for the show, and not just because of its much lauded realism.

The show started when I was a rookie in New York, and I was struck by how much Detective John Kelly, played by David Caruso, seemed like some of the guys at my station house. I recognized his wonder at the cruelties of the world. I also recognized the anger in Dennis Franz's Andy Sipowicz: the bizarre mix of nobility and self-destructiveness. But most of all, I recognized the language and the sets. The grungy office really did look just like the one in my precinct, and the producers used the old Ninth Precinct station house on East Fifth Street for the outside shots.

Yes, the dialogue was highly stylized, but it was a style pretty close to that of a lot of real detectives. (This was no wonder - the show's creator, Steven Bochco, recruited a veteran homicide detective, Bill Clark, to be a co-producer.) Even after I had a few years on the job, I had to ask the veterans about the more obscure terms from the show: we all knew "61" (a complaint report) and "skel" (a dirtbag). But what is a "yellow sheet"? A "57"? (A rap sheet and a request for a transfer, respectively.)

Real cops are not usually fans of cop shows - I don't know any who like "CSI," be it set in Miami, New York or Peoria - but "NYPD Blue" was popular with my colleagues. That the public cared to watch a show that looked and sounded a little like us was flattering. I had a commander in Narcotics who had a picture of a woman on his desk; I always assumed it was his wife. One day I looked closely and saw that it was an autographed picture of Kim Delaney, who played Detective Diane Russell on the show.

Many police officers maintain that the most realistic police show in the history of television was the sitcom "Barney Miller," far more so than that father of reality TV, "Cops." The action was mostly off screen, the squad room the only set, and the guys were a motley bunch of character actors who were in no danger of being picked for the N.Y.P.D. pin-up calendar. But they worked hard, made jokes, got hurt and answered to their straight-man commander.

In the end, I guess it wasn't the realism that made me such a fan of "NYPD Blue." It was that the show made detective work look as romantic and as satisfying as I think it is.

Iraqi workers clean debris near a large pool of blood at the scene of a suicide attack in the city of Hilla, February 28, 2005.

Iraqi workers clean debris near a large pool of blood at the scene of a suicide attack in the city of Hilla, February 28, 2005. A suicide bomber detonated a car near police recruits and a crowded market on Monday, killing 115 people and wounding 148 in the single bloodiest attack in Iraq since the fall of Saddam Hussein.
Photo by Ali Abu Shish/Reuters

Want to know why I still read the stories of people killed in Iraq?
How this photo grabbed me by the gut and pulled me in when I first saw it (as a thumbnail)?

It went like this:.
What's that...it can't be...(scan the headline) ...125 killed in a crowded market in Iraq...OMG, no ...that's the biggest pool of human blood I've ever seen..imagine the carnage...OMG.

I want this war and all war to always bother me.  I want to never NOT be horrified.