Why do you think some people don't get along with you?

First, it's not that people don't get along with me. I never give them a chance. I've always made it difficult to acquire me as a friend in the offline world because I actively avoid people. When I have to interact, I'm extremely polite (I even metaphorically speaking, make myself gag at times, I'm so freakin' nice) and quite friendly usually. People mistake polite and friendly all the time. They are not the same thing, I assure you.

Why? Potential conflict. My feeling of, "Why bother because this person will just end up irritating me or me them before long and then what?" Rejection.

The reason I started to avoid people goes back to moving to the US to a small town in Connecticut populated by humans of sub-intellect. I was picked on and teased constantly from the beginning and this all was quite acceptable to everyone that should have cared. Yes, my inner child is deeply wounded. And I knew this before therapy!

Thus, I built up very large walls of protection including a massive layer of fat.

I've never, ever initiated a friendship and I don't say that proudly. And despite all my excuses, It's my fear of being rejected that holds me back.

Party Girl (in front with kazoo)

Age 13 (7 years after moving to Connecticut)

Comments

[Cyn]

Thirteen is v. difficult--I guess for most of us, huh?
Thanks for the compliment on the dress. All I can think when I look at it is PLAID!!! ;)

[Dan]

Thirteen is a tough age! Clearly one of my hardest years -- feeling like a kid but knowing I'm growing up.

Love the dress, though:)