Help! (Personal)

It's been crisis mode here for the past several days in re: my youngest. The school contacted me again, asking if I knew about his current situation-- he had fallen behind--failing three subjects-- but we thought he was caught up. Long and short, he was deceptive again. Should have trusted him less and insisted on seeing every last piece of work he was told to do (he has the workload of a high school child--he's in grade six). He cried and cried as I tried to find out why. Does he no longer want to be in the accelerated program? 'Cuz if that's it, it's okay. No, that's not it, he says through tears. Is the work too hard? No. What is upsetting him? He doesn't know. What is he feeling? He says nothing, just cries. I wonder if his transferring to Junior high in August is worrying him and he's sabotaging his grades. I started with irritation and I ended up just feeling like the biggest failure as a mom. I've got a child with so much potential and I see him slipping and I don't know what to do and I'm so afraid that he'll keep slipping and fall into the same abyss that his older brother did. Later though, I went for a wonderful top-down drive in 80 degree weather, listened to some Moody Blues, took my youngest to Blockbuster as we both were looking for another excuse for a car ride...rented 21 Grams. I wrote a email to a friend, trying to hammer out some possible changes I can make to improve my life. I cried a lot...and still am but they say that tears release a feel-good hormone--at least that's what I've always told my boys--that it's okay to cry when you are in pain. This weekend has got to get better--hope everyone has a good one.

Comments

[Cyn]

Jack--thank you so much for sharing this. I feel badly for your little guy.
How did we get to this palce where our kids can't be kids? And is there any way to give them back what they've lost?

[Jack]

My son fell apart today because of his report card. He's only in 3rd grade! He got a couple of "needs work" grades. That's it! Everything else was "good" or "outstanding". There is so much subtle pressure on kids today that wasn't there when we were their ages. Society makes kids grow up too early. The kids know it. They're tuned in in ways that we never were. I doubt it's the accelerated program in school. It's an accelerated life. Good luck, Cyn.

[Cyn]

I'm pretty sure he knows I love as I tell him every day and hug him as often as I can. I'm pretty involved in his life, voluntering and so on.
I hadn't realized you were/are a "smart kid" too chavos, though I'm not at all surprised.

I've worried for almost four years if the pressure was too much, too soon--but he's always wanted to stay with it.
I'm trying to just be there for him but still provide the "push" that most children need from time to time.
I'm probably making too much of it--but this all came on so suddenly. It was 3.75 years of superkid, then at the end of one term, nosedive.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Your level-headedness is so very welcomed.

[chavos]

if he knows you love him...i have trust that you'll find a way to work through this. maybe a break from the accelerated program is what he needs...so that he can know if he wants it or not. its one thing to offer the choice of dropping...but i know as a "accelerated" child, fear of failure is one of the most terrifying things. fail once or twice, and its not so bad anymore...its something you pick yourself up from. the very best of luck with this...