Frustrated

Warning: whine/whinge ahead.

I hate my life situation as it pertains to a primary relationship.
I also intensely dislike the self-censorship that I must engage in to "protect the innocent."

This sounds pretty far afield, but a piece of advice: don't sell out when it comes to picking a partner.
Neediness has been a crippling personality trait of mine.
I'm not anywhere as needy as I was 13 years ago, but I am living with the choices I made then.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm going to burst.
If I do, I'll make sure to take a photo and put it up here.

Comments

[Vanessa]

Good luck.

[Cyn]

::sound of lakkris hitting the nail on the head::

We are hashing things out, but essentially what I wanted to spew forth in this post was my "below the belt-type" stuff--not appropriate for sharing with my partner unless possibly in a controlled counseling setting.

Still trying to get a counseling situation in place, but getting huge resistance.
Just the earlier incident at his place of work is enough reason to check in with someone about why he is engaging in such self-destructive behavior (Tangible result of said incident = suspension of raise this year. I now know that he'd been "observed" on prior occassions and this was the first time the staff acted on it.)

I'm not wholly innocent, of course. My improved health has upset the status quo in numerous ways.
But I am trying to get the ball rolling on making this a better partnership. It's been in stasis for way too long.

[lakkris]

If you cannot be you in front of and with your partner then there will be difficulties.

I'm sure that even if you married with the best of friendships that over time people can grow and that can cause some difficulties, but ultimately you still need to be true to yourself before you can be true with someone else.