Office Joke

Too pooped to blog. Here's a joke from the (spouse's) office

Did You Know...
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. Can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....................)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Comments

[Rob and Chaz]

well if you were a pig running around in your own
faeces you would want a long orgasm to take your mind off the sh1t you are rolling around in!
no wonder they squeal!!

[Rose]

I didn't know pigs orgasmed?!

[Cyn]

30 minutes orgasms can only mean one thing. The pig's female!

Anne & Jack: knowing that you both are lefties explains a lot, including that odd slant to your typing. :D

[Jack]

Hey, Anne, I'm a lefty, too. You, me and Albert Einstein. Good company.

[Anne]

Personally, I think that's a load of crap. You righties can't POSSIBLY live that much longer than we do. Although...we do tend to bump into things alot and fall down. ...or is that just me?

[Jack]

Nobody said anything about that pig being female!