Maybe I Enable

My Dad and me circa 1963



I'm not sure if this means I'm an enabler or maybe even selfish, but I helped get my oldest son a job today.

One of my incarnations is as a book seller. I cruise various places--usually charity/thrift/re-sale/consignment stores, in search of the rare and/or unusual, and failing that, something brand new. I buy this stuff for a song, and resell it on-line. I've made a number of people happy with the rarer finds, but the best part of the job is the people I see a couple times a week at the venues I mentioned. They know me by name and I them, and I get the feeling that I'm well liked. I chalk it up to my Canadian upbringing--I'm stereotypical--polite and cheery.

I noticed earlier in the week that the store that helps support the developmentally disabled had a help wanted sign in their window. It registered with me because currently my 20 y.o. son is living at home, after being under house arrest for a couple of months. He has not been able to secure legitimate employment and he has (had) a deadline of November 30 to get a job, or move out.

I've puzzled over why this threat doesn't seem to motivate him more, and the best I can conclude is that something upstairs is amiss. He knows that we'll make good on our word as we have twice before. He descended into homelessness, coming back several times the first time in tears, begging for second chance, the second time he was brought by the county sheriff under home arrest, instead of being a guest of one of the most notorious county jails in the country (his infractions are rather minor--but he keeps skipping court dates and not his paying fines, resulting in warrants for his arrest). He's let his life spiral out of control for no apparent reason, other than he doesn't care to take care of himself.

The last thing I want is for him to be homeless as the weather gets more severe, and just in time for Christmas so I asked about the position--they were very interested in talking to him--as I guess no one has been beating down their door for the job--and they hired him today--essentially on the spot. The job entails working in the thrift shop, but it'll eventually turn into full-time with medical benefits, and there's room for him to advance, if he's interested. I'm a clinical counselor by trade and my son was with me as a child of a single parent, as I put myself through school. He absorbed a lot, and I know he's got an aptitude with people. In a word, he's compassionate. He's bright too, and I hope patient, 'cause he's going to have to be at this store. Part of it's staff are developmentally disabled and the volunteers are often people working off their community service either through high school or the courts. He'll be exposed to many behaviors/situations and my hope is that he'll excel at it, and consider going back to school to make some kind of career of it.

If it sounds like I'm getting way ahead of myself--I am. But I'm a mom to a kid with no sense of direction, little belief in his potential, and barely any interest in his own welfare. I think he needs a job where everyday he does charitable works. I think that this might be a chance for him to reclaim some pride and self-esteem and get on the path to getting his act together. Or at least I hope.

Comments

[Josh]

I hope your son can get himself motivated to keep the job. It would be nice to be able to read of him doing well. You really do go above and beyond being a good mom. I hope he realizes that.

Hope you're doing well hon. :)

---Josh (Vyk)