Not much in the way of excitement today. Started the day doing laps in the pool, while spouse & son played in the family side of the pool. Just routine stuff otherwise-- doing laundry, cleaning the house--starting to clean out closets and drawers of their summer clothes and change to autumn. I'm still losing weight. :sigh: I know most women get all happy about this--and it is good in terms of heart health--but the only things that seem to fit from last fall, are my drawstring pants. Even my shoes are too big!
In general, I wear as few clothes as I legally can. Clothes feel very restrictive to me. So summer is minimal clothes & barefoot around the house--same clothes--(unless I need some covering up on top to look like a mom) and sandals when I go out.
When cold weather sets in, I reluctantly start wearing long pants and tops with sleeves and collars and shoes and ugh! I was not made for cold weather.
I despise the scales, but I knew something was up when the shoes were a problem, so today I jumped on the scales at the fitness center. Another 7 pounds gone and that's on top on the 10 that took a hike over the summer, and totals about 50 in the past year. I don't diet--I don't believe in dieting anymore. Everyone knows diets don't work. I *need* to lose weight, yes. It's just a wee bit disconcerting 'cause I'm not trying, and I am eating, so I don't know what's going on, except even my panties don't fit! Gahhh!
I cannot replace my entire wardrobe every 6 months. So I'm giving this another 35 lbs. --that's a really perfect weight for me, and if I keep losing after that--I'm going to start eating more. This is so weird, because I won't get into the *you look great--have you lost weight?* thing with people. I think it perpetuates the idea that in and of itself dieting is good, and it's not--staying as fit as you can is. But that's all I hear these days ('cept from my spouse--who never comments on my appearance--one way or another) and I feel like apologizing--'cause I'm not starving myself to do this. (I know this has got to be boring, but I'm writing for me.)
I quit dieting eight years ago--and my weight was as high as it ever had been--but I really didn't gain any more--and I'd been steadily gaining-losing, gaining even more, yo-yo-ing since age 9, when I was put on my first diet. My theory is that there is a *right* weight for me and though I messed up my metabolism, now that time has passed, I think it's somehow reset itself and --it's like homeostasis--that it's going back to where it should be--would've been-- if I didn't think that having a tummy was a crime, and proceeded to do battle with my body for half my life. This would be kinda cool, if it weren't so inconvenient.
Today was only the second or third time I went to put pants on since maybe last May--and it was quite comedic as I pulled on pair after pair of pants and flung them in a pile--I was in a hurry--because they looked as if they belonged to someone much larger than me. If you stick around long enough to see new pics in a couple weeks--you'll see that I'm far from skinny--I don't do skinny well-- so this should be interesting because a) I'd like to see how far this is going to go and b) I'd like to see how I'm going to keep myself clothed this winter. And on that note, I'll end.
Goodnite and have a pleasant tomorrow. ;)
